There are so many delusions surrounding what to expect when you date someone who has Bipolar. There has been so much noise out there now about Bipolar as there has been yet another celebrity who has been diagnosed with the illness. Going through the list of the celebrities that I am aware of and the personalities that they all have, they are all completely different. Some of them have been battling with the illness for world and just goes to show that you can’t tell whether someone has it or not.
I am writing a list for you of a few things that you should know before dating someone with bipolar. This is not an official list and please note that this is based on my experience of the illness. Many people handle the illness differently therefore their lists may differ from mine. I do suggest that if you are dating someone with bipolar, do some research as it will help both you and them. Just having a basic understanding can help eliminate those feelings that you’re to blame for our mood changes and as you will be able to help towards identifying and stopping triggers etc. I know this all sounds scary and a lot to handle for most people, but we are not more hassle than its worth. We just struggle with emotions; the good and bad days are more intense and need some extra support at times.
‘Smile for the camera’ 📷– The number one trait that we have is that we are all good actors. There is a chance that you won’t know that we are experiencing a low or high as many of us have learnt to cover it up. Don’t be alarmed by this, there is only so long that we can hide the feelings that we have, and the cracks start to form.
The Roller coaster last approx. 3 minutes 🎢 – Whether it is a manic episode or a depressive one, there isn’t a switch and we can switch from feeling low to having an overwhelming feeling of joy within a matter of minutes. Low and high moods can stay for weeks even months.
The word ‘normal’ does exist 👍🏻– We are not either low or manic, we do have times of being ‘normal’. FACT
Who runs the world? Me? 🙋🏻♀️– The word ‘manic’ is not one of the best words to describe the actual symptoms of mania. It doesn’t mean that we are going to go crazy, do something completely reckless and have getting into dangerous situations however this can happen. Mania means to we have thoughts that ran at a million miles an hour, having great ideas every other second and we think that we can do anything if we put our minds to it and become very impulsive.
For example, I went manic and I decided that I wanted to go to Uni. I wanted to go to the London College of Fashion and I would be going there NO MATTER WHAT! I was 25, working in the hotel industry at the time and didn’t have any of the entry requirements to get in. I managed to persuade others that this was a great idea and I was ‘living my dream’ finally. It took 3 months to complete the necessary applications and projects to get onto the Access to Further Education course, quit my job and then move to London. I soon realised that I was out of my depth as the mania wore off however I managed to complete the course and even progress on to the BA (HONS) Fashion Marketing and Promotion Course and gain a 2:2. #onelifegoalcompleted
What is the point in life? 😔 – The lows that come with bipolar are more than just a day or so where you can’t be bothered to get out of bed. There are more like long phases where your mood can be so low that you have feeling like there was no point to life and can’t escape the negative thoughts in your head. Some of these thoughts may even be suicidal. I have had 2 low phases which had lasted about 3 months in my life so not as often as you think however like I mentioned earlier, everyone is different.
Happy Pills 💊 – I believe that may medication is my saviour. The mood stabiliser helps with handling my mood and maintaining a level of ‘normal’, calmness and a sense of control. I often do struggle though whether some of the feelings I have are my own or whether they are medicated? However they are there to help me so I will take them.
As I have mentioned above, please do some research into the illness to help your understanding. With me, I am very straight from the beginning with who I am dating to ensure that they know what they are getting into and to expect. I know this can be very terrifying for some as it is seen as having some serious baggage. If they are willing to learn then having them know your triggers is a great help to ensure that you have support when that you need. Remember, if you are struggling with your understanding, don’t be afraid, just ask and we can help you.